Sunday, October 17, 2010

Why the $@$%!@#! did I start a blog about Burning Man?

Well, dang, I don't really know. It seemed like the right idea at the time.

Why? Because no one else out there is doing this, I suppose. And, if they are, where the hell are they? Sure, there's the organization's blog, The Burning Blog but it lacks a certain degree of, how do you say, snark. You can find plenty of excellent photos and information over there but it's all the "official line." No criticism, no bad words, everything is fine here, yes sir, continue along now, there's a good chap, stop thinking and go enjoy some $5 coffee at Center Camp!

So, for example, on The Burning Blog you're not likely to find a post about 2010's deeply flawed "pulsing system." Or the word "shit." I quite like the word "shit." It's a word that I heard no less than 500,000 in Black Rock City this year. At least 95,000 of those shits dribbled from my own lips. And among those 95,000, 42,000 were uttered when I discovered my $325 "All Conditions" REI tent crumbled in a heap next to a campmate's car after a nasty dust storm the weekend before the front gates opened.

The tent was fine and, because I am a poor, widdle college student these days, it has since been returned to the REI location in NW Portland. If you would like to adopt the tent, I'm sure it will be up for grabs during their autumn "Used Gear Sale."

Some will tell you that the Burning Man Project is tired and irrelevant in this new decade- that it will never again be as cool or as exciting or as radical or as....whatever as it was back in 1990 or 1996 or 2001 or 2006 or five minutes ago. This is a cliche as old as the festival itself. With growth comes a certain need for safety so people don't get killed and all that. While you may no longer be able to shoot a high-powered pistol while having sex in a rented limo with Jane's Addiction blasting at top volume....well, actually, you can still do that out there....but without the guns.

I, myself, have never had sex in a rented limo at Burning Man but I have flown a plane over Black Rock City. And I've worked for fine folks at The Black Rock Beacon/. And I've helped build a large fire organ. And I've managed to squeeze myself into a pair of borrowed size-2 panties for an evening. And I once saw a blimp...but not on the playa though.

The only thing that I would say is tired about Burning Man is the Man himself. The festival always culminates in the destruction of the city's centerpiece, a giant effigy. It's boring, it's predictable and the show is as scripted as a fireworks display at Disneyland. I'm not the only person to have muttered or screamed "burn that bastard on Monday and get it over with." Ask Adrian Roberts about this sometime.

My name is Brandon. I'm a student at Portland State University. This year marked my second Burn. And I think the world needs a blog, er, a log about Burning Man. So here we go....

Also: yeah, I know that starting something like this in October makes about as much sense as putting up a Christmas tree in the middle of February but.....meh! Uhhhhh.....uhhhhh....RADICAL SELF RELIANCE!

1 comment:

  1. Just for you, I'm going to include the word "shit" in my next Burning Blog post.